I have a certain way of doing things. I get joy out of my independence. I think all people in the world do one way or another. People, in general, try to not only do things they way they want, but they attempt to make other people do things their way. It’s part of the thing that makes us human. Life is simply a series of choices. Choices made by us as individuals. When we find ourselves in a situation where we cannot have our own way, we get frustrated as we are not in our own comfort zone. We have to adapt. Change. Compromise.
Marriage is a crazy concept. Being with one person your whole life. That’s a long time. And with time, there will be choices to be made. Choices as individuals and choices as a couple. In both situations, those choices have a tendency to intersect. Compromise is pretty much the only way around such a predicament. I think that finding a way to enjoy someone else’s point of view is the way to make compromise feel rewarding. To feel confident in someone else’s control whether their choices are right or wrong. To believe in someone and accept their flaws at the same time. Easier said then done.
As cheesy as it is, understanding the person next to you is the only productive thing that you can do. Learning how they will react to situations and then, in turn, change your choices to better the situation based on their original choices. But this is no easy battle. I figure I have at least sixty or so years to figure it all out.
I can understand that the original thought of “compromise” is that you are “giving in.” But that is exactly what it is. Yes, it’s a blow to your ego and maybe you are giving alittle of your self esteem too, but in the long run everyone wins. At least that’s what I have picked up so far.
After owning our own house for a couple of months now, I have to add that compromise does, in no way, only hold true to marriage. Priscilla and I have been blessed with a fortunate life, a wealthy lifestyle and a giant house. And with great power comes great responsibility. What? All I’m saying is that that shit is expensive. It is only really hitting me now how much we need to change our lifestyle in order to pay the bills. Mortgage is one thing, but higher utilities, added utilities including water, trash, lawn care and basic repairs. Looks like shots are NOT on me anymore.
I guess compromise is a pretty common concept that is involved in everything we do. Sometimes we don’t get to do what we want to. It sucks. But looking at the big picture, not getting what you want is, in turn, getting what you need.