Archive for April, 2009

I have a strong stand on Religion but I have always tried to be as open minded as possible.  I had a discussion a couple of weeks ago with a coworker about where we stood when it came to religion.  When I was truly put on the spot I was left speechless.  I felt like I had too much to say in a single conversation.  Most likely too much for this blog, but I tried.  But my final conclusion was that I was on a journey for the answer.  I was not satisfied with anything I have learned on TV or through an old book.  As I may say I have figured some stuff out and made way in a certain direction, the more I spook about it, the more I realised I should just leave it as “In Progress”.

I grew up Catholic in a predominantly Catholic neighborhood in a Catholic school from when I when in Kindergarten to when I left High School.  I went to church every Sunday and was an Alter boy from 6th to 8th grade.  Our family was close to the Parish and the fellow priest.  I remember learning as a child that the Catholic religion was the most prominent religion in the world.  At the time I thought, “Well I must be on the right side if MOST people in the world believe in Jesus.”  It wasn’t until later, after a plethora of religion classes, and after I graduated from high school, that there were reasons MOST people in the world were Catholic.  I’m not going to go into this history lesson, but without the constant third world Missions throughout the world and the War they call the Crusades, the Catholic religion would be minimal compared to what it is today.  In short, politics is the reason the world is made up of mostly Catholics.

Back to my point.  I was brought up a Catholic boy in the Catholic environment.  I was deemed Catholic when I was Baptised as a baby.  I was taught in school everything there is to know about the Catholic religion without ever being asked if I wanted to.  I don’t regret anything in my past and if I could do it all again I would do it the same exact way.  Why?  Well it’s because I feel I have a better understanding now, about religion in general, than I ever would have if I was raised in a religionless environment.  But even in saying that, I do not want to raise my children in a predominantly single minded religious setting putting them in one specific group before they can form their own conclusions. 

Throughout my journey, I have tried to do as much research as possible.  I am no expert.  Not by a long shot.  I am not trying to convince anyone to believe in anything a specific way.  (I am totally discrediting myself here)  All I am saying is that I am interested in finding my own answers so I read a few books.  (Audio books are just like real books)  First I read a book by Richard Dawkings, “The God Delusion”  It was a take on the scientific approach to religion and where we all came from.  It pretty much blew me away and opened my mind to a number of different things that I never would have thought about, be truly agreed with.  Now even though I really enjoyed the book, I felt that it was a bit one sided to the religion debate.  So next I decided to listen to a rebuttal.  Not necessarily the real rebuttal, the book I choose was still geared towards promoting the teaching in the bible.

The book is called “The year of living Biblically” by A.J. Jacobs.  It tells the story of A.J. and his year of living as true to the bible as possible.  Every teaching and ritual was attempted.  Everything the bible told him to do, he did.  That was until it became illegal or was just morally wrong.  I choose this book after it was suggested by my brother Tony.  He liked it saying it proves that having some religion in your life can make you a happier person.  I personally think that the teachings in the bible are, for the most part, pretty ridiculous.  As there are plenty of positive teaching throughout the Good Book, there are also plenty of negative suggestions that are just wrong.  One point both books brings up is the fact that today’s society chooses what in the bible to follow and which to just pass off as “symbolism”.  This is just one reason I choose to think outside the box for my own conclusions when it comes to religion.

But I do have say that I agree with my brothers point that having a sense of religion in your life can make you happier.  At first I felt this in my heart and knew there was a reason for it, but I wasn’t sure what that was.   Richard Dawkings book stated that it was developed over the years genetically.  That humans have always needed an answer to where we come from and where we go when we die.  I agree him him, but I don’t think that is enough reason to remove religion from your life.  When I went down the path of an Atheist, I felt empty and scared.  At first I thought I wasn’t strong enough to believe there is no God.  Maybe I’m not.   Should I be?  I’m not sure on that.  Even if Richard Hawkins is right and it is genetically woven into us as humans, then shouldn’t we embrace that notion?  Maybe not the way we do today through old books and intervening Gods, but in some way, we should.

I did have one thought recently though.  The this bridges to another blog I am going to write.  If you believe in something; if you truly believe something is real you can find comfort in that truth.  Now that truth may not be true, but if you believe it is, then it is to you.  It is in sense a kind of denial.  If you want to believe something enough it will be true.  It goes along with positive thinking.  If you have a positive outlook on life, you will be a happier person.  Convincing yourself of a specific truth is important because humans cant understand everything around them.  At least not yet.

So where do I stand?  I guess I don’t stand anywhere.  One notion I did recently ponder was that believing in a conscious after life makes me feel better.  Makes me feel less scared of death.  I cant say I believe in any conscious God.  God to me is existence.  God is the Earth.  God is everything.  I believe we all are one and part of each other.  But the one thing I know for sure is that we don’t know.  We will never know.  We are not supposed to know.  We are supposed to figure it out on our own.  To make our own conclusions.  To find the truths that make us content and happy throughout our lives.

So recently I have gotten married and bought a house with my wife Priscilla.  It has been two weeks since we have moved into  out new investment and already I am starting to worry about the thing falling to the ground.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but considering the amount of money invested in such a thing, I stand to loose quite a bit if the house decides to up and fall over.  It just one of those things I have to get used to.  One of the things that makes you a Grownup.

Getting married for me was a no-brainer.  Priscilla and I had been dating four years and I loved her.  It wasn’t until after the engagement, the parties, the preparation, the rehearsal, the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon, and everything else, that I could really sit back and realize, ” Damn… I’m married now.  I’m a grown up.”  

Recently I have noticed that there are some people out there in the world that thrive on growing up fast.  I know several people that get married young and start having kids young.  Almost like they are running to be part of the group they call “Grownup”.  I, on the other hand, was not in that group.  Moving to Atlanta at age 19 was partially a cry for independence.  I wanted to party and not have to worry about it.  I wanted to have fun and be a kid on the loose.  I ended up growing up faster then I could ever imagine.  

That being said, I still was in no rush to be a grownup.  I did things as they would come to me in my life.  I met Priscilla when I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship.  At a point in my life when I was tired of trying to be nice, honest guy, I met Priscilla and she was the nice and honest girl.  It was meant to be I guess.

Now, honestly,  getting married, in my eyes, was not the final indication that I had turned to the grownups.  Priscilla and I have several friends that have no kids and party like rock stars and enjoy an awesome, young, independent life without children.  To me, they met their soul mate but never really wanted to reach that label of adult.  I have all the respect for them and am inspired by their lifestyle,  (That’s right Alex and Jan, I am talking about you two.) but I think that I am going to have a couple of kids in my future.

Priscilla and I decided to buy a house before the wedding even happened.  We actually considered buying before the wedding, but, after the wedding planning started, we knew that was not going to happen.  One thing at a time.  It always seems to be that: One thing at a time.  And that is how time passes so fast.  You finish one thing then on to the next.  After the wedding we started the process of buying a house.  We looked, found one, and bought it.  One step at a time.  Now, as the dust is finally settling, I look back and say,”Damn, I have a house now.  I have a wife.  I’m only 27 years old, but damn I feel like I’m all grown up.  Or maybe I feel like I’m a kid with a house and a wife.  Either way, I’ve taken one more step in being an adult.

The next step in the series of events that make up life is children.  (Mom, don’t get too excited yet.)  It is the final step into “Grownupdome”  It marks the fact that the little person you brought into the world looks to you as a “Grownup”.  And as they should.  You are the ones taking care of them.  Plus you are about 5 feet taller then them. Kids for me and Priscilla are in the future.  We just don’t know how are into the future they are.  Like I said before.  One step at a time.  What’s the next step again?