Archive for November, 2008

I love to smoke.  But I hate that I love to smoke. I have been a smoker for about ten years now. Wow, ten years. It sounds pretty horrible when you say it out loud. I had my first cigarette in the back of my friends car accompanied by a couple of Mickey’s 40s and a winter trip to the river. All I remember was that I wasn’t too excited about drinking, I was more excited about my next cigarette. Now, I didn’t just pick up the habit after one smoke, but I do remember liking my first one. It was bad. Shit, I was a freshmen in high school. That’s what we did. I wouldn’t say I became a real smoker til about my senior year. I was in smokers denial for about six years after that. It was then that I decided to quit. That was three and a half years ago.

For some reason I told myself a long time ago that whan I was 24 was a good time to quit smoking because I was still young and if I got old, it would be impossible to quit. 24 sounded like a good year. So I set up a date and bought some nasty Nicoette, smoked a whole bunch the night before and quit. I hate Nicorette, but it worked.  I was sober for about 5 months. It was great. My roommate at the time quit with me, so it helped alot. Back then I smoked about ten cigarettes a day which is about half a pack. That is on the occasion that I was NOT drinking. My roommate didn’t smoke as much as me, so it was a little bite easier of a transition for her. We held strong.

I don’t know what it was, but for some reason 5 months into not smoking I decided that Black n Mild cigars were not cigarettes and were ok to smoke. Within a couple of weeks I was smoking one whole cigar a day and inhaling “most” of the time. It sucked more than smoking; it tore me up. (But at least they were chocolate flavored) I remember when I bought my first pack of Marlboro Ultra lights after I had quit. I felt like a failure. But I had officially switched from Marlboro Lights to Marlboro Ultra Lights. People with addictions make compromises with themselves to justify their addiction. I’ve found it’s pretty sad. I also found myself doing it in this situation. And I do it again later in this blog post. (Let’s see if you can pick it out.)

Since I started smoking again I don’t smoke that much really. I barely smoke and if I was going to say that I was a full time smoker (which is pushing it) I would be an “extremely light” full time smoker. All in all, I have been up and down over the last four years, but I have never reached the number as I once did smoke. I smoke maybe a cigarette or two a day, but then I will be bad when I drink on the weekend. Today I haven’t had a cigarette in four days. It is an achievement in itself, but I can’t say I will not pick one up again. Lets just say that I try to smoke as little as possible.

I know I need to stop, but I feel I need a really significant reason to stop. (not that I have a long list already) I need something to shove it in my face. Something to make me scared to smoke ever again. The time will come for me to quit. I think what I need to do is just take my own advice: “Suck it up.” I need to suck it up and do it for me.

I use photoshop more than any other program.  I use it at work, I use it for freelance at home, and I use it for personal stuff like this blog.  I use it all the time and I have to say that I’m pretty damn good at using it.  I’m not saying I’m a pro or anything, as there are plenty of things I never use in photoshop that other people use all the time.  I use what I know and I get by with that.  But I know most of it.

So anyway, I always like to get my hands on the new releases of photoshop whenever they come out, which is about once a year nowadays.  This year we got Adobe Photoshop CS4.  I don’t really understand the CS nonsense, but whatever.  Photoshop “Creative Suite” 4 even though it is technically just Photoshop 11, but who’s counting?

I always like to upgrade as soon as I can because I figure I will have to anyway, so I might as well learn the new stuff now before CS 12 comes out and I have to take a class just to catch up.  Plus, I figure if there are new cool features in the new Photoshop, that might just help me in my everyday work flow.

 So I got CS4.  So far it’s not all that great.  I’m not completely downing it just yet, but from what I have seen so far, I’m not about to switch over completely.  The first thing I couldn’t stand was just pure performance.  Maybe I have a bum copy or maybe they just need to put out some updates, but whatever it is, it does not work as smoothly as CS3.  The only other thing I can say negative about the new program, is the new window “docking” aspect of the images.  The way the document you are working on is “docked” on the top of the screen.  Then you get a “tab” for each additional document open.  I theory this sounds great cause you can see all the images that are open all the time, but it makes it extremely difficult to have two documents open and drag one layer from one to the other.  I do this all the time.  Now I am forced to just copy and paste which is similar, but it does give the same freedoms.  OK, I am done giving the negative side.  Lets tackle all the new fun stuff.

First of all the interface got a remake.  It looks awesome.  I have always personally loved it when any programs mix up the their interface because it gives me something new to stare at all day and most of the time it just looks cooler.  Second, the inserted the ability to turn the document you are working on.  Now this doesn’t really effect me all that much, but if I was to draw a picture with my wacom freehand on the computer this feature would be extremely helpful.  Also, the new photoshop has new abilities to incorporate 3D (which I think is pointless, but cool) and it has new windows like the adjustment and mask windows.  Also, it can now zoom in to a ridiculous 3200% using OpenGL.  It’s cool, but most likely unnecessary.  

One giant thing CS4 brings is the ability to utilize 64-bit processing.  This means you can utilize 8 gigs of ram which will help with overall performance.  I have not tested this out, but I’m not gonna lie, I am pretty excited about it.

All in all CS4 is similar to CS3, but with a cooler look and feel. It needs work and needs updates, but maybe I just need a newer computer.  Only time will tell.

So Priscilla and I made our annual trip to Tallahassee, Florida last weekend to watch Florida State take on Clemson University in a College Football shoot out.  Priscilla attended Florida State starting the fall of 1998 and graduated with a degree of Psychology in the spring of 2002.  Priscilla partied most of her College career with her Sorority Delta Gamma while still achieving a grade point average of a 3.5.  Astounding.  So as you can imagine, she has a lot of memories in Tallahassee, and we always have a great time there.  

Also, Priscilla’s fellow DG Michele still lives there with her husband Jake and they are so gracious to take us in every time we visit.  They recently finished building their dream house. Actually they bought an old dairy factory that had been converted into a small commercial building.  At the time they bought it, there were several small businesses running out of it including a small Hindu church. (I stayed away from that room.  Bad karma)  After gutting the entire building and adding state of the art appliances and furniture, the house looks incredible.  I would expect nothing less from Jake, who is the cleanest, most stylish guy I know.  They are great people and always show us a great time. Also, unexpectedly, we had the pleasure of having Michele’s mother visiting from Guam.  She is a great little lady, yet only speaks broken English.  She loves the mall and the Style network.  It was a pleasure to have her around.

Priscilla, Meghann, her boyfriend Nick, Holly, her boyfriend Petey all decided to caravan the Southeastern trek packed into one Lexus SUV.  So after a long six hour drive and a couple of 40’s, a 22oz Steal Reserve,d a 22oz of this nasty stuff called Schlitz Malt Liquor and an interesting drink called “The JOOCE” we arrived at their house ready to party.  We were greeted by a bunch of Priscilla’s old friends.  I made it til about 10:30pm.  I was tired from the long trip.

The next day we made our way to the Tail Gate and were greeted by more of Priscilla’s college buddies and their boyfriends and husbands. (all those that were not 9 months pregnant)  We enjoyed more beer and hot dogs.  The weather was incredible and fans were out with a force. Florida State beat Clemson 41 to 27.  It was a great game and was exciting til the very end.  We made our way back to the Tailgate only to realize I had lost my cell phone somewhere in the Arena.  After a few phone calls and the help from my buddy Tim in California, I found the people that found my phone, but it was a pain in the ass.  After a few beers at the local bar, we made our way home only to be greeted with more food from Michelle’s wonderful mother.  We watched a little Friday the 13th part 8 and went to bed.

The next day we got up early and were pleasantly surprised to a full Asian breakfast complete with “Breakfast noodles” and coffee.  It was spicy good, and delicious.  We hung out and later went to eat at the local “hangover place” Gordo’s.  It wasn’t that great and took forever to get our food, but the memories were priceless.  We piled back in the car, drove by the Delta Gamma house, then made our way home. (Damn that drive sucks)  Tallahassee is a great place and always a fun road trip.  I can’t wait to go back next year.

I have always liked coloring book.  I mean, who doesn’t.  Some genius of a guy thought of an idea to create these books with pictures in them.  Books of all shapes and sizes with these great pictures of all your favorite cartoon characters.  AND THEN they had this brilliant plan to leave the pictures colorless.  How awesome is that?  So now you get to color in your Saturday Morning pals with any number of color combinations you want.  I don’t know about you, but I loved it.

I have one memory that sticks out from all the rest.  I remember vacationing at my families cabin up in the California  mountains.  As a family we would vacation quite a bit up at our cabin as it was close to Lake Tahoe and a short hour and a half drive from home in Sacramento.  I remember sitting with my Aunt Nancy coloring some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle coloring books, trying to stay in the lines and get the colors right best I could.  I remember realizing when my Aunt sat down to help just how much I enjoyed coloring.  I think it was that moment I knew I wanted to be an artist.  I wanted to color.

I wouldn’t say it was the actual colors I love the most.  No, and I don’t think it is the “staying in the lines” part either.  I’m gonna say the thing I like the most id the simplicity of the whole concept.  I mean think about it.  Even if you pick the exact wrong color and pick the most horrible picture to color in, as long as you finish each shape with full on precision, then you come off with a respectable piece of artwork. No matter what.  All you have to do is sit back and work at it.  There is no problem solving, no stress about what the client will think or about if it will sell in the gallery.  There is a finish and an end.  You just keep in those lines, and your home free.  And every time I did, I felt some sort of accomplishment.  

I think that same concept holds true in my line of work today.  I work in a creative field, yet I’m not sure just how creative it is.  I pick some colors and stay inside those lines and I feel accomplished.  Now whether that’s a form of creativity, I’m not sure, but I love it anyway.

I’ve been to New York about five times in my life and I loved every trip. I love it so much that I considered moving there at one point in my life.  That was about five years back when I was right out of school and looking to start a new chapter in my life.  Not to mention that my whole group of friends was either moving there or some other big city to find a really cool big city job.  I’m not going to lie, I was too scared to do it at the time.  I was happy where I was in my little city I call the ATL.  Well, it’s not all that little.

Anyway, I considered moving there because I love the vibe of New York.  The crazy smells and the strange people around every turn.   The fact that if you make it in New York, you can make it anywhere.  The movie stars.  The award shows and movie premieres.  The fact that New York is the setting for so many big movies and story plot lines. The Broadway shows and millions of tourists.  The business culture and all the young professionals trying to make it big.  The Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty.   I love New York because it is the biggest city in the world.  It’s unlike anyplace else and it’s a  world all it’s own.

Now, as much as I love New York, I didn’t move there and I won’t ever move there.  I could, but I wont.  First of all Priscilla wouldn’t let me (I mean us) move there.  Plus, I would have to sell pretty much everything I own.  Next, I would have to go from a spacious two bedroom condo to a meager 700 square foot room four floors up.  Not to mention that my shower would be in my kitchen.  (I’ve seen it)  I don’t think Priscilla could handle that one.

On top of all that I like where I’m at.  Atlanta is my home (For now) and I have no reason to leave it.  New York is a great place to visit and I will always think of it as one of my favorite places I’ve been  But, unfortunately, I will never live there.